Suddenly it went really bad with me on Thursday 11 July. I have felt it coming for days, but still it came unexpected. After I was awake for about half an hour I totally collapsed; I wasn’t able anymore to make any noise, I absolutely didn’t know the words, I couldn’t move and I couldn’t do anything else but laying with my eyes closed. I was already very tired lately, so tired that I hardly could email and work on my site anymore. I also couldn’t watch TV anymore, the only thing that I could do was staring in front of me and snooze. That day, Thursday 11 July, I also have passed away and it took hours before I was a bit consciousness again. From that day on I could hardly eat, not because I wasn’t hungry but because I was too tired to swallow… I could hardly swallow 3 little bites of mashed food each time. Each time after 3 little bites I needed to recover from this for at least 2 hours before the next 3 bites. I sure hadn’t had to pee because then I needed a couple of hours to recover from it before I could eat 3 bites… remember, I pee while laying on my bed in my urinary and still I become so exhausted that I first had to recover from it. It has been like this for a week and I felt getting worse and worse; swallowing became harder and harder and the food had to be more liquid each time. So I was back again at the level of those 3 months in 1999 (see ‘Journal - part 4’) with the difference that I wasn’t (yet) in coma. I still could talk (but without any sound) and I still understood a bit of what were said to me. I did fell away often and during those periods I recognized nothing at all (no sounds, not the room where I was in etc). As I then finally came around after hours it took very long before I recognized the sounds and surrounding around me again. I do have this more often that I don’t recognize things, but after a short while it all comes back to me but now it really took a long time – sometimes even an hour. I also had a lot of hallucinations and fainting/falling away.
One week later, Thursday 18 July I woke up totally paralysed and I also couldn’t swallow at all anymore, not even water. From that day on I also couldn’t take my medicines anymore and I couldn’t eat and drink anymore. Henk and I were both nearby desperation. Eventually Henk called the gp (my gp is always free on Thursday afternoon). So a gp came by but because I wasn’t dehydrated yet there was no need for hospitalization. However, Henk couldn’t handle it anymore; he didn’t know what to do anymore. So it was a social problem as the gp called it and he arranged an ambulance for me. Around 23.00h the ambulance arrived. Because I lay upstairs in our bedroom the paramedics had to get me down. So with 2 men they lifted me out of bed and put me on the stair elevator where they held me upright with 3 men so that I wouldn’t fall off. It hurt a lot and it was very exhausting, so I fainted twice before I eventually lay on the stretcher downstairs. Later on I heard from the neighbours that the ambulance had come with the flashing lights on; I found it pity that I haven’t seen that (due to paralysis I also couldn’t open my eyes). Arrived at the hospital they took a lung X-ray and some blood… of course everything was okay. According to Henk I must have been laying in a very nice and luxuries hospital bed which you could adjust by grades. So for example 4 grades with the feet up etc. You even could adjust it diagonal so that you lay with you head higher than your feet and still lay flat on your back. Unfortunately Henk had forgotten the photo camera otherwise he would have taken a picture… I have to say that I am curious how that bed looked like.